Days of our Lives!

February 27, 2006

The Barmy Army? More like the Whiners and Whingers

Filed under: Sports,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 8:41 PM

The English have developed over decades of failure in the subcontinent, an epic of extenuating circumstances. It goes like this. We (the English) couldn’t compete because the food was inedible, the hotels roach-ridden, our stomachs upset, the nightlife non-existent, the heat too hot and the dust too obscuring. These were the off-field handicaps. As far as playing conditions went, the pitches were dustbowls or rolled mud, they kept low, they turned square, the ball didn’t come on, its seam wasn’t right, the crowds were too noisy, the toss too important, the umpires were bent and the home team cheated.

All this apart from the endless griping about the pitches. Really cant make out what else they can expect in India. As if we get dust bowls when we tour. The English press go on and on about the way the pitch has no grass cover (Ivan Lendl’s “Grass is for the cows”? 😉), there is no help for swing or seam, the pitch crumbles, it turns right from the first day and so on and so forth.

The balls turn at right angles? The Oval is no better, there the balls swing at 60 degrees. Matches finish in 3 days? Take a look back at the New Zealand tour of 2003: two day test matches. If they expect batsmen with correct techniques and proper footwork to counter the moving ball, is it too much to expect the same of them against the turning ball. If we are traditionally weak against pace, they are hopeless against spin.

As of today, the English team stands in total disarray. The captain is returning back on account of a dodgy knee. So is Simon Jones, who spent a few months at the MRF pace foundation to both recuperate and to acclimatise. Trescothick has flown back for ‘personal reasons’. The three spinners, if you can call them that, are down with some mystery illness (most likely to be butterflies in the stomach). And poor Freddie. He cant fly back for the birth of his second child. People were actually hoping that his wife has a slow delivery so that the tests are over by then.

And of course the small matter of a huge loss to the Board President’s Eleven (just a week back they were so cocky having won a 15-a-side game against the CCI lads). It’s to be seen if they can field 11 on March 1. And this was supposed to be the fight-to-the-death for the second spot in the ICC ratings (not that people care anyway).

And boy! The way they have been going on about the absence of Giles. An excuse for a spinner, he is being portrayed as Murali and Warnie rolled into one. The said Giles bowled balls 6 feet outside the leg stump on the last tour. The pre-series buildup has been dominated as to whether he will make it and if not, who will be able to fill his boots. Anyone can. Really. And having selection trials for selecting the spinners? Cant stop laughing.



  1. Hi this is NarayananEnglish team always say non-cricketing reasons for losing the test or odi especially comes to sub continent.they dont take the bull by this series should be cake walk for indians.if got time visit my

    Comment by Narayanan — February 28, 2006 @ 11:42 PM | Reply

  2. As things stand now ,I think we shouldconsider ourselves lucky if we can save this test

    Comment by ramsaravana — March 4, 2006 @ 4:13 PM | Reply

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