Days of our Lives!

March 17, 2006

Hum Hain Naa!

Filed under: Comedy-Keemedy,My Dayz,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 2:03 PM

Had to withdraw 50k to give the advance to my new place. ATM’s have these ‘user-friendly’ restrictions of mile-long queues, max of 25k per day, max of 40 notes per transaction, Hindi-speaking security, a SaveTheWorldGuy behind me in line…

You would think 40 notes per transaction would be 40*1000 or at the least 40*500. But NO! ICICI truly believes in Hum Hain Naa! So the denominations available are 100 and only 100. We have the these notices on the ATM doors for not wearing helmets and not using mobiles and pagers when inside. Yesterday found me staring at one announcing that the only denominations available were 100’s. Cool!

This morning found me making my way to the ICICI branch next to Bangalore Central (yea, orae kallulla rendu manga – bt found the mall closed, at 10.30).

(in my previous bank – MDCC – the cashiers and accountants know me, my parents and my grandparents by name, age, food habits….)

Scene 1
10.30 a.m – No queues, empty bank of ATM’s, cleaning on in full swing, no receptionist, just a single guy behind a counter.

Hum Hain Naa guy: Yes?
me: I need to withdraw some cash, how do i go ’bout it?
Hum Hain Naa guy: (looks around the empty bank) Use your ATM card!
(Wow!, the bleeding obvious?!)
me: (raised brows) Without using my card!
Hum Hain Naa guy: In that case, if you’ve already called to block the old one, you can register for a new one and you’ll get it within a week. It’s free too Sir! (Big smile!)
me: Hold on now. I still have my card on me, but I don’t wanna use it now.
(I swear he raised himself a bit to look me up fully over the counter)
Hum Hain Naa guy: (with the look of someone explaining the reval process to a TCEian) Why?
me: Too much money and too small denominations and too little time.
Hum Hain Naa guy: (now with a wary look) Huh?
me: (painstakingly explain the first and second paras of this post)
Hum Hain Naa guy: (with a newborn clarity) Use your cheque book!
(One cheque leaf alone costs 20 bucks min)
me: I’ve ru-
Hum Hain Naa guy: (rambles on) …but even if you have a self addressed cheque, you’ll have to go the bank where you have your account.
me: I’ve run out of them (and patience). You have a –
Hum Hain Naa guy: (rambles on some more) In that case you’ll have to apply for one, you’ll get it by post within a week.
(In MDCC I can buy an entire booklet for Rs.22 in their lunch time)
me: (clenched teeth) You have a withdrawal form or something?
Hum Hain Naa guy: You’ll have to go to your branch Sir.
(My branch? Ya, me a pregnant eagle atop the lone-tree on the mountain yonder!)
(My branch is in Langford Road)
me: Is there no other way?
Hum Hain Naa guy: You can try out the branch in Prestige Towers. I think they deal with accounts of all branches.
(You think eh?)
me: Where is THAT!
Hum Hain Naa guy: First right from here, tall black building.
(Cool! Two branches with a host of ATM’s 10 feet apart! And parts of the city with none in sight for km’s. Hum Hain Naa?)

(I verify the existence of Prestige Towers with the security guy and go on)

Scene 2
10.50 a.m – No queues, empty bank of ATM’s, cleaning on in full swing, no receptionist, just a single guy behind a counter.

Hum Hain Naa guy: Yes?
me: I need to withdraw some cash, how do I go ’bout it?
Hum Hain Naa guy: (looks strangely at me) Use your ATM card!
(GOD!)
me: I don’t want to use my ATM or my cheque book, but want to withdraw some cash. You have a withdrawal form or something?
Hum Hain Naa guy: (Thinks real deep!) I’m not sure Sir. I don’t think you can.
(So you also think eh? Cool!)
me: So what can I do now?
Hum Hain Naa guy: Use your ATM card (with a paternal air now).
me: Fine!
(Turn back and leave. Try to slam the doors shut on the way out – but these revolving doors…)

Postscript
Withdrew 25k in two transactions a half hr back.
(total denominations of 38*500 and 10*100)
Have to do an online transaction of 25k to Jangaal’s account and then persuade him to come use his card for me (assuming he stil has his card on him).

Analysis
What the F**k’s happened to the old way of banking?
So if I lose my baggage (with my card n cheque book) in a strange city (say, like Bangalore), what am i supposed to do for cash?
Inspite of all those 550 branches and offices, and about 1900 ATM’s (src: Wikipedia), am I stranded?
Hum Hain Naa?

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11 Comments »

  1. machitemme the truthdo u know what the slogan means?

    Comment by Anonymous — March 17, 2006 @ 9:37 PM | Reply

  2. Rotfl. Din kno they were that bad. Cool ur getting your own place. Now u can live the life, huh?

    Comment by Hemanth — March 17, 2006 @ 11:05 PM | Reply

  3. @hemuyeplet’s seeam thinkin of books n carrom n tv n dart boards n cooking n music n all sortsa nonsenselet’s see how things work out…

    Comment by santhosh — March 18, 2006 @ 12:11 AM | Reply

  4. @anonymous:-)nopereally no idea what it means;-)posted assumin the feel of the slogan n the ads(make sure u also state ur name da)

    Comment by santhosh — March 18, 2006 @ 12:17 AM | Reply

  5. try “SURPRISINGLY” SBI next time ..u wil find “HUM HAIN NAA” better..i guess u shud be satisfied as long as they dont run away with ur money

    Comment by ram — March 19, 2006 @ 12:58 AM | Reply

  6. macha ya they are not good but it is ur mistake also. u must have a cheque book for big withdrawals. i have always used self addressed cheques for withdrawal of large sums.and requesting a new cheque book is damn simple using an atm. they post it to ur place man. if u had a cheque u wouldnt have had to talk to them at all. and icici is not mdcc. maintaining such a large network of banks and atms is not easy dude. and abt that u losing ur card and cheque book(may be the banks dont bother to think abt it as it doesnt happen to everybody). i would suggest have more than one account. may be sbi as ram suggested.

    Comment by neeraj kumar — March 19, 2006 @ 12:28 PM | Reply

  7. dai.. ATMs are always good for small money transactions da.. not for for fat ones da.. and its pain with ICICI atms, as some of them give only give cash in denominations in 500s only..are u going to college thid week end for alumini meet??

    Comment by Sathappan Sathappan — March 19, 2006 @ 8:58 PM | Reply

  8. @ramnooooooam better off burying my salary in my backyard

    Comment by santhosh — March 20, 2006 @ 1:58 PM | Reply

  9. @neerufair enough dabut the problem is i’d really run out off cheque leaves and well, just put off getting a new cheque book (lazy us!)…but still, there shud be some sorta process to withdraw money at the bank…or atleast to get cheque books isued a lot faster (guess they hv a whole BIG system)…or atleast larger denominations at the ATM’s (which is practically viable)

    Comment by santhosh — March 20, 2006 @ 2:02 PM | Reply

  10. @sathif it was 500’s am ok with it da…bt 100’s for 25k?wud hv to go bak to the “manjai pai”:)as for your second ques, no da…lousy timing, when the next friday falls in the middle of 4 days of possible leave

    Comment by santhosh — March 20, 2006 @ 2:04 PM | Reply

  11. as long sa your money is safe you should be happy. you could try SBI or ING vysya bank. both are really good

    Comment by Narayanan — March 20, 2006 @ 11:28 PM | Reply


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