Days of our Lives!

September 4, 2006

Harry Potter Will Die!

Filed under: Books,Comedy-Keemedy,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 5:48 PM

Harry Potter Will Die!

Or, at least, two major characters will die in the 7th and final installment of the wizard series, according to Rowling. She was vague on who would eat it, but did say it wouldn’t be any “extras”.

There have been persuasions that Rowling should not kill off Harry altogether, so that in case public clamouring gets to her, like it once did to Doyle, she would be able to resume for vox populi.

Well, whatever, here’s my version…..

The world as we knew it, is falling apart. The entire wizarding community is in darkness. Like Gandalf in LOTR, Dumbledore returns in his spiritual form, uttering the ominous words, “I’ve been sent back to finish my work”, and proceeds to gorge on ice cream and mutter spells like Pip, Clug, and Tulf.

Anyways, Dumbledore then performs the ‘immensely complex’ Fidelius Charm, makes Ron the Secret-Keeper, and sends Harry into hiding. And well, as a proper heroine of the protagonist, Ginny throws a tantrum, and the great plotter that Rowling is, includes her too.
But there is one detail that both Dumbledore and Rowling overlook : Harry’s come of age (wizards come of age at 18 rite?). And since i myself have rather pitiously managed to pass that age period, i know just how much biology and hormones are involved. Harry and Ginny then do something that should come up well in the film version, and Ginny gets pregnant.

Ron is now both furious and frustrated. Not at Harry or Ginny, but because he’s not able to get too far similarly with Hermione. This frustration makes him spill the beans (Every Flavor of Bettie Bott’s) to Voldemort who comes in search of Harry and Ginny. First Harry, and then Ginny, try to hold him off but cant, and die. Voldemort who is now very old anyway, then tries to curse Harry’s son, but stumbles across his walking stick and curses himself, destroying him for the second time.

And once again the series starts with Harry’s son –
The Boy Who Lived!
(Or maybe even The Boy’s Boy who lived!)

In the new series we can have Ron as the Minister of Magic, Hagrid as the principal of Hogwart’s, and Neville as the captain of the English Quidditch team (my bet is they’ll play better than their soccer and ODI teams).

Update :
Fellow Pottermaniacs, check out these two posts as to why Dumbledore is not yet dead :
part 1
part 2



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