Days of our Lives!

March 20, 2007

What if ICC "acquires" FIFA?

Filed under: Sports — Santhosh @ 1:26 AM

Rules and Changes :

  • A ball tampering rule ought to take care of people like Roberto Carlos.
  • Bouncer rule – Defender cannot kick the ball above the strikers’ heads more than twice for every 10 mins.
  • FA had the offside rule, ICC now brings in the legside rule – You cannot score a goal if your opposing team player is near your own goalpost. And y’know what? We could end up with a game of kabaddi on our hands. Globalisation, here we come!
  • Not more than two defenders allowed behind the half-line for the first 30 mins of the match.
  • Rain Rule : Duckworth Lewis – Need I say more?
  • Take away the referee who runs wherever the ball goes and instead bring in 2 referees who are stationary at opposite ends of the field. For stuff they cannot see clearly, please refer to the “third referee”.
  • Off with the Half-time. Let’s have 2 drinks breaks – once each after 30′ and 60′.

What these would mean :

  • We can get basketball type scores of 100-96 or, who knows, maybe even a 200.
  • Christiana Ronaldo is someone who has “great leg-eye coordination” but is technically not sound.
  • Take away the specialist keeper and bring in someone who can also score quick goals.
  • No more one-dimensional defenders. The defenders should also be capable of scoring a few goals.
  • Now every time someone makes a foul, he can look at the referee and scream “Howzzzaaaatt”.
  • Bring in “minnows” like India for a 64-nation world cup which lasts for 1 year.
  • Geoffrey will be like, “My grandmother would have kicked that in”.
  • Sponsors can give “Master Blister” awards to the player who kicks the ball out of the field of play the highest number of times.



  1. Great Post. Few years down the line we can see 64 nation world cup. I really don’t know where the game is going.Worst rule in cricket is Duckworth lewis method. Nobody knows how the rule works. If ICC acquire FIFA then the result will Kill Sports.Match fixing will stay on for ever

    Comment by Narayanan — March 21, 2007 @ 7:11 PM | Reply

  2. “Master Blister”talk of puns…..

    Comment by Anonymous — March 22, 2007 @ 1:45 AM | Reply

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