Days of our Lives!

July 7, 2007

Mighty Almighty in a Tighty is an idiot!

Filed under: Comedy-Keemedy,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 12:34 AM

If there is one thing that I want to ask all those superheroes, it would be where they get their dress material. Not one of them, not a single freaking Earth-saving one of them, has ever worn a suit that bags at the knees or elbows. They swing through buildings, jump into sewers, carry aeroplanes, and stretch like crazy with their limbs looking like they belonged to Muttiah Muralitharan; and yet end up sporting their suits looking as good as new. Every piece of apparel that I’ve tried on – night pants at the knees to tees at the bottom to shirts at the elbows to hankies at the corners – seems to grow the extra 20% promised by the showroom after the second wash.

However, but for this facet about their clothing, I personally don’t feel these guys wear cool or practical clothing. Has anyone ever seen Superman or Flash Gordon washing their clothes? They cant give them to laundry, coz their identity’s a secret, remember? And somehow I don’t particularly think these American girlfriends would exactly be thrilled at the idea of washing and ironing something that their guy has just come out of the sewer in. Just imagine how it would be if The Daily Planet captures Superman washing and drying in his backyard, because none of his Kryptonic superpowers are of any use here (no funny laser beams or bullet-stopping chests work here). Or how would he look with his suit all wrinkled, with a couple of coffee stains thrown in; or how Batman would look if his black suit is all faded at the wrong places. Hell, I own a hundred pieces of black clothing and after just the fourth wash, they’ve all turned into a brilliant motley of shades of gray.

Speaking of colour, just take a cursory look at the leotards of some of these fellas :
Spiderman – White-striped red tops, royal blue pants and red boots.
Superman – Blue skintight bodysuit, red boots, the infamous red undies over the pants (Captain Underpants tells me, “go bhaby, go!”), and get this – an yellow belt. Not even Ramarajan in his heyday has been this forward in fashion.
Phantom – Purple skintight bodysuit with black leather undies and mask (between us, would you allow someone who wears leather undies in the Bangalla jungle humidity to ward your kids?).

One other major concern of mine is why do all of them have to wear figure hugging clothes? If you were to choose a costume that you’d have to get super fast into, for a zillion times, what are the chances that you’d narrow it down to something that’s the size of what I’d like to see Angelina Jolie in? On this basis, I sometimes think Chacha Chaudhary is a much more sensible ‘super-hero’ : he gets the job done and he doesn’t resort to obscene gimmicks like suffocating skin-tight suits.

These tights have one other issue – they should start stinking after an hour into world-saving. Just consider this :
Spidey swings through skyscrapers, trains, and the New York downtown traffic, fighting for humanity against Dr. Octopus or Venom and finally downs them. Fresh from victory, he comes upside down to Mary Jane, puckering up and asking her to stick one on. Now, for this ‘romantic’ moment to take place, Mary would either have to hold her breath to escape the stench from Spidey or Spiderman should have used generous quantities of deodorant before starting off in pursuit of ’em villains.

And finally, let’s say Spidey wants to go some place urgent, like you know, for nature’s call. The absence of a zipper in his suit means that he’ll have to remove the entire damn suit before he can do his stuff. And just think how it would look if Sand Man is blasting buildings apart and the terrified people find Spidey in a loo with his pants down.

Quod Erat Demonstrandum.

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25 Comments »

  1. rofldude, you rock

    Comment by kaarthik — July 6, 2007 @ 1:12 PM | Reply

  2. I’ve been visiting your blog for some time now and I really enjoy your writing. You seem a natural, and a better frequency of posts wouldn’t be bad too.Thanks.

    Comment by Richard — July 7, 2007 @ 3:11 AM | Reply

  3. Cool Blog Here! I have a pixel web site If want to promote your web site on my website the cost is $497.00 for a 100 block of pixels but it will get your site listed in the top of the search engines. SEO

    Comment by SEO — July 7, 2007 @ 12:47 PM | Reply

  4. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Comment by vijay — July 7, 2007 @ 3:46 PM | Reply

  5. @kaarthikyea, if ya smell wat the rock is cookin’;)

    Comment by santhosh — July 7, 2007 @ 3:50 PM | Reply

  6. @richardthx and keep visiting.as for the frequency, lemme send you my manager’s mail id. mebbe you can persuade him to gimme less work;)

    Comment by santhosh — July 7, 2007 @ 4:01 PM | Reply

  7. hmmmmwondering how Jai Hanuman would figure in this shceme of things…good one buddy

    Comment by vijay — July 7, 2007 @ 5:01 PM | Reply

  8. ethanala dhan nan jatti ae poduradhu ilai

    Comment by sam — July 7, 2007 @ 6:16 PM | Reply

  9. that’s gross. superheroes are to be for children and entertainment and you talk about bad odour and spiderman with his pants off

    Comment by Anonymous — July 7, 2007 @ 9:41 PM | Reply

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    Comment by santhosh — July 8, 2007 @ 2:25 AM | Reply

  11. dae mapi,namma gaptun a vittayae da. gaptun a skin tite dress la partha eppudi irukum

    Comment by kumar — July 8, 2007 @ 2:26 AM | Reply

  12. lol’s of indianaanga dhan ujala ku maaritomae@ kumar : dhambi, pakistan la oru hindu jatti pooda mudiyadhu, aana india la oru muslim pant mela kooda pottukalam…..

    Comment by sundar — July 9, 2007 @ 1:22 AM | Reply

  13. Oi, achei teu blog pelo google tá bem interessante gostei desse post. Quando der dá uma passada pelo meu blog, é sobre camisetas personalizadas, mostra passo a passo como criar uma camiseta personalizada bem maneira. Se você quiser linkar meu blog no seu eu ficaria agradecido, até mais e sucesso. (If you speak English can see the version in English of the Camiseta Personalizada. If he will be possible add my blog in your blogroll I thankful, bye friend).

    Comment by Rodrigo — July 9, 2007 @ 5:32 AM | Reply

  14. @samadapavi,avanaa neeyi???

    Comment by santhosh — July 10, 2007 @ 2:49 AM | Reply

  15. @anon,yea yea, sure. and george bush is intelligent.if it was purely for kids, Mary Jane would not have been sketched.u better run along and watch shakthimaan

    Comment by santhosh — July 10, 2007 @ 2:56 AM | Reply

  16. @kumarnow you’re talkin’ bhaby!!!

    Comment by santhosh — July 10, 2007 @ 3:16 AM | Reply

  17. @sundardae, first line of ur comment is better than the second (out of context la)

    Comment by santhosh — July 10, 2007 @ 3:37 AM | Reply

  18. very true! but its mostly the person who created these characters are to be blamed!:-)

    Comment by Anu — July 11, 2007 @ 8:18 AM | Reply

  19. its high time we had a naked superhero… or better still… superheroine…

    Comment by crazyBugga — July 13, 2007 @ 2:37 PM | Reply

  20. @anuand now that they’re all conveniently dead….

    Comment by santhosh — July 15, 2007 @ 2:15 AM | Reply

  21. @crazybugganow yer talkin my language

    Comment by santhosh — July 15, 2007 @ 2:16 AM | Reply

  22. dude u r the hero!

    Comment by Mark IV — July 20, 2007 @ 10:15 PM | Reply

  23. @mark ivhar harhow ‘bot joining up for a Justice League?

    Comment by santhosh — July 21, 2007 @ 3:10 PM | Reply

  24. I was horrified to have my bubble burst after reading this post!! You mean after all these years Superman pees in his pants :oSigh! I knew he was too good to be true :Plovely write!!

    Comment by Beauty and the BEast — June 7, 2008 @ 10:28 PM | Reply

  25. Deo brands! Find scope here.

    Comment by Rakesh — June 12, 2008 @ 2:07 AM | Reply


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