Days of our Lives!

September 25, 2007

uS vs. tHEm

Filed under: Comedy-Keemedy,Mars and Venus,My Cup of Socie-Tea,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 2:24 PM

I’ve been following this increasingly popular trend of girls trying to ape guys in social behaviour – wearing boots, riding bikes, calling each other machi, maapi, and dude. And I started thinking of the things that girls can do but we guys would never be able to carry off. The first thing that comes to mind is how girls can dress up in pink and wear enough accessories to give Shilpa Shetty a complex. But “No!” I said to myself. I’m not going to go the fashion route. Instead, I will talk about other social phenomena that the fairer sex can get away with but we men shudder to even think about. Here goes:

~~ Be in a group in a party (or any goddamn place for that matter) by themselves and NOT look desperate. This one completely amazes me. A group of girls standing all by themselves in a social gathering is a sexy thing and the same scene enacted by the male species is a sight of sadness? Someone sees a group of guys minding their own business in a corner and people exchange smirks, “Look look! Despos.” But put a group of five girls by themselves yakking and giggling away and the nudges and expressions change, “Man, that’s so progressive”!!!

~~ Be completely useless in a situation and yet come off looking cute. Take a flat tire on a moonless night for instance. While the guy is out changing nuts and bolts, cursing the Gods and swearing at the Indian Cricket Team, the girl with him will most likely be caught aiming the flashlight into the sky while intently peering at what he’s doing in the dark.

~~ Have a Best Friend. Every girl it seems has a best friend. Atleast one. You know, that someone who writes an Orkut testimonial with “muaaaaah” in it. Now it was all fine when my mother asked me when I was in 3rd standard why I’d brought my lunch back and I replied, “My best friend brought rotis today”. But down the years I (and guys in general) have become increasingly hesitant to even accept that I have “close male friends”. But the fairer sex have it different. Every girl has a “Best Friend” story any day of the week – “Me and my best friend, we bought matching salwars”, “Me and my best friend have the saaaame tastes”… And sometimes it’s not just limited to best friends. They take it one notch higher, “Simi and I are the bestEST of friends. We’ve known each other for ages and share everything with each other!” Now try replacing Simi in that statement with Rahul and ask yourself if it still sounds right. The first thing that crops to mind when the word ‘share’ is uttered with respect to two guys would be a pair of undies. I rest my case.

~~ Get away with crinky call-names. Let’s take a pure desi name like Deepika for example. She can be called Deepi, Deepu, Deeps, Dee or even just plain D; apart from the fact that some guys she know will greet her with “Hey Deepuuuu” or “Bye Deeepiiii”. Now, if you even try calling your friend Deepak by any of these, I’ll bet on Dhoni’s house that your friend will die a virgin.

~~ Add sexiness to something as unremarkable as eating. How does this system work anyway? An airy fairy maiden eating a banana or gently licking a lollypop is supposed to be an erotic sight? And sucking in the last teeny-weeny bit on the strawberry or licking in the bit of dark chocolate from the corner of her mouth is not supposed to be gluttonous – it’s the quintessence of sexiness. Now, can you think of any food that you can imagine a guy eating and you relating to anything remotely sexy to the situation – think – idli, briyani, chicken tandoori, rotis – nothing. The only effect we men seem capable of producing is that of disgust when we have sauces and stuffing dripping down our elbows and try to cover it up with what starts as a winning smile that only reveals more unmentionables stuck between our teeth – aaaaargh!

Advertisements

34 Comments »

  1. Hilarious!This place Rawks!:)

    Comment by Amit — September 25, 2007 @ 3:34 PM | Reply

  2. One more, my very own experience :Caught by principal throwing a chalk at someone while the class was underway – all he does is smile and make a funny comment to my teacher. And my teacher apologizes for the principal’s behavior! :pI am not complaining. You don’t even have to be good lookin’! :))Small perks! πŸ™‚ I don’t even feel guilty about this stuff … shameless!

    Comment by diya — September 25, 2007 @ 3:56 PM | Reply

  3. nariya padam paakurae da ambi [:)]

    Comment by crazyBugga — September 25, 2007 @ 6:56 PM | Reply

  4. @amitheh heh [slapping my thigh]@diyasigh!so what’s for dinner?

    Comment by santhosh — September 25, 2007 @ 8:15 PM | Reply

  5. @crazybuggaNaangellam padam kaatara jaathi!!!

    Comment by santhosh — September 25, 2007 @ 8:16 PM | Reply

  6. this is so damn hitting the bloody nail on the very center of its bloody head

    Comment by Anonymous — September 26, 2007 @ 2:20 AM | Reply

  7. @anonthat’s a nail biting finish πŸ™‚

    Comment by santhosh — September 26, 2007 @ 4:19 AM | Reply

  8. LOL.. πŸ™‚

    Comment by Da Rodent — September 26, 2007 @ 8:52 AM | Reply

  9. snicker…

    Comment by Priyanka Shetty — September 26, 2007 @ 4:00 PM | Reply

  10. Whoa…guess what.. I had a very similar rant too! Guess u’ll see it on my space soon!And don’t u dare say anything against pink!!! πŸ˜›

    Comment by Curious — September 26, 2007 @ 4:16 PM | Reply

  11. @da rodent:)@priyankaHar har!@curiousBut remember, I was here first!

    Comment by santhosh — September 26, 2007 @ 7:44 PM | Reply

  12. its gals time da…..pity da boys………like u and me and others who share da same phenomenon…go to a showroom…first one will be ladies…..then only men anywhere…:(

    Comment by Karthik ,K.N — September 27, 2007 @ 9:10 AM | Reply

  13. that happens….gals caught wearing no accessesories are supposed to be plain…wahtever..glas are supposed to be more sincere than guys:) lol

    Comment by Uttara — September 27, 2007 @ 12:51 PM | Reply

  14. there is one place where no girl will ape you.10 naaliku kulikaama thovaikaadha adhe dressa pottutu ennala (and many guysalayum) suttha mudiyum..panna sollu parkalam edhavadhu ponna [:P]

    Comment by Abi — September 27, 2007 @ 2:02 PM | Reply

  15. adhu daan nanba vaazhkai… ponningala kalaichiu oru post potta blog rating pichikum… ella pasangalum paaratuvange… aana side le oru chat dabba tharandhu internation kadalaiya uruttuvange…idhu chat ode thavara? ille chat panre ponn ode thavara? ille kadaikare gap le kabbab panre kedi bugger ode thavara? sindhithupaar sogodara…btw,abi- pathu naal kulikkame irundha ponninge enna pasange kooda thani mariyadhe kuduthu oru distance aa dan nadapaange…!

    Comment by Mark IV — September 27, 2007 @ 3:24 PM | Reply

  16. Hehehe… I can’t believe I’m laughing at the end of such a blatantly sexist post! Well I guess these are perks the ‘fairer’ sex gets in exchange for being undervalued and discriminated against for centuries! πŸ˜€ And if you think about it, it’s really guys who impose all these restrictions on each other! Lol, so I feel no guilt whatsoever.Oh, and you forgot physical contact. I mean, what is it with guys and the paranoia over hugs and stuff? Girls hug, hold hands, sleep platonically on the same bed and there’s no awkwardness. But catch a guy at even one of those and he’s all embarassed and is labelled gay and treated like a weirdo. Tsk tsk. How sad πŸ˜€

    Comment by Jan — September 27, 2007 @ 4:26 PM | Reply

  17. @knkSkip it man, but remember, we were the ones who started all that Walter Raleigh and the ‘Ladies First’ thingies.@uttaraadapavigala, more sincere aamla…TR padam aedhavadhu irundha eduthu parungo πŸ™‚

    Comment by santhosh — September 27, 2007 @ 5:13 PM | Reply

  18. @abiThe problem with a name like your’s is that there is no way one can tell the sex of the person. And you’ve just kolappufied me by taking (seemingly) both sides…But hey, girls are supposed to dig the, ahem, macho odour, right? ;)@markivNalla sonnae po!Take this post for instance – comments section pichikuchu!!!

    Comment by santhosh — September 27, 2007 @ 5:22 PM | Reply

  19. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    Comment by OMG — September 27, 2007 @ 5:22 PM | Reply

  20. @janTwo things. Ok, I’ll make it three :1) There is just no way we guys are going to use the words ‘platonic’ and ‘bed’ in the same sentence.2) Our macho, super-hero, izzat image would take an almighty beating if we went around hugging and kissing each others’ cheeks.3) Would you be ok if your boyfriend(s?) texts you a Good Morning message and says he’s still in bed with his best mate after they’d spent the night talking and playing around….?

    Comment by santhosh — September 27, 2007 @ 5:27 PM | Reply

  21. hey this was fun!

    Comment by dharmabum — September 27, 2007 @ 5:42 PM | Reply

  22. @dharmabunI know πŸ™‚

    Comment by santhosh — September 28, 2007 @ 4:35 AM | Reply

  23. ROFL…..was laufin thru’ out the post……sooooopar!Btw, ever thought of it this way….. if girls chat, its called gossipping….if guys chat, its called social networking.What say?

    Comment by Erce — September 28, 2007 @ 8:02 PM | Reply

  24. TOO MUCH HAI!

    Comment by How do we know — September 28, 2007 @ 9:21 PM | Reply

  25. See, this is exactly what I was talking about! It’s guys who create these unwritten rules of behaviour… What’s the use of complaining? πŸ˜€ And yeah, the platonic + bed thing was a bit of a stretch for the male mind, I admit. ;)As for the boyfriend(s) question, hmmm. Now that it’s been brought up, it might gimme a pause but depending on how secure the relationship is, I might not get freaked. Nah, I’m lying through my teeth… er… typing fingers. I’d get freaked anyway. But again, I blame it on a whole generation of homophobic guys who set all these rules! πŸ˜›

    Comment by Jan — September 29, 2007 @ 12:54 AM | Reply

  26. Oh, and I’ll add to erce. If a guy flirts with many girls, he’s manly and being a GUY. If a girl flirts with many guys, she’s a slut.

    Comment by Jan — September 29, 2007 @ 12:56 AM | Reply

  27. i second jan ……. after all …. most of the rules r set by guys.. n if u think its aint fair on guys favor … its so not true.. gals get judged for every tiny thing while guys r jus being guys..!!! cant get out late (**without answering several pointless questions+lying a bit ;)**) .. oh i can go on 4 hrs… anyways …. even though i dont agree with ur post …… i must admit it did make me laugh…. nicely written …..

    Comment by anusha — September 30, 2007 @ 8:17 PM | Reply

  28. That was so damn nice.. looks like you have done quite a lot of research on girls πŸ˜‰

    Comment by ScRiBbLeR — September 30, 2007 @ 9:17 PM | Reply

  29. @erceThere are some questions that the Police Commissioner in our films replies with “No Comments”….@how do we knowThanks for accepting that what gals do is sometimes a bit too much :)@janBoth your examples also go by one word – ‘popular’! (unfortunate, but true).

    Comment by santhosh — October 1, 2007 @ 11:12 AM | Reply

  30. @anushaConfused. Totally. (nothing new in that anyway).See, my post did precisely what I intended it to do – give a laugh. And I’m also mature enough (ahem ahem) to realise that there are also a million other things that guys can get away with, but girls cant. So, chill!!! :)@scribblerLol! Yep. I’m the resident Phd and expert. But how did you know…? πŸ˜‰

    Comment by santhosh — October 1, 2007 @ 11:17 AM | Reply

  31. :)) :))Ahhh I was thinking something bitter but ur’s did come out patronising.. πŸ˜›

    Comment by Curious — December 9, 2007 @ 1:06 PM | Reply

  32. :))that was one funny post, i say!reminded me of some hapless team mate guys who sometimes end up joining our girl-gang for lunch.. totally clueless on how they could contribute to a discussion on complex issues like someone’s dress sense, the latest gossip doing the rounds or some cookery recipe!at the same time, being a lone girl in a company of guys could be pretty easy if you can talk about ur DMAT a/c or some latest gizmo.. or just discuss about the most promising IPOs.btw, thnx for stopping by at my blog to comment!

    Comment by usha — December 11, 2007 @ 3:38 PM | Reply

  33. women always wear accessories from top to bottom, spend hour and hours of time in shop to buy the accessories, most accessories are badly made and fall of when the walk with high heel shoes. I have two sisters,accompanying to shop is will be horrible.

    Comment by Narayanan — December 14, 2007 @ 12:26 PM | Reply

  34. @CuriousLol, 3 guesses sweetie!@ushaWhaaaat? Guys you know find talk of IPOs and DMATs interesting?? Er.. 3 steps back…@nana:) we atleast didnt have that problem where we studied πŸ˜‰

    Comment by santhosh — July 28, 2008 @ 8:39 PM | Reply


RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: