Days of our Lives!

October 4, 2007

Your dream girl is waiting for you. Find her at…

Filed under: Mars and Venus,My Cup of Socie-Tea,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 5:25 PM

It was around 3am on a slow day in UAT last week when a colleague of mine called me to his workstation, where he was browsing through profiles on a matrimonial site. Unfortunately for him, he is now supposed to be at a marriageable age according to his relatives because he is settled (software engineer), and needs stability in life (late nights in office). Note that I’ve not talked about steady incomes or salaries here, with due respect to my company. And so he’s been spending the said late nights searching for someone with a ‘wheatish complexion’ and a ‘good sense of humour’ to spend the rest of his life cribbing about his manager.

And so here we were, filtering through profiles, browsing through them and bookmarking promising ones (yeah, exactly what we do on Orkut but now with a license to send “make friendship” scraps) and there was this one word that kept buzzing around incessantly in my head – IDENTICAL. It was like multiple women having the exact same profiles and the exact same demands. Irrespective of whether the profile had been posted by the girl herself or by her friends or family, they all ended up projecting the same profile and asking for exactly the same type of guy. Mind you, it was no different with the guys. Everyone seemed to be into the “modern yet traditional, calm yet outgoing, virgin yet whore” litany.

So I jokingly told him that I could write a script to automate the whole process to produce genuine sounding marriage profiles. And here it is, though I’ve modified the idea to give just one random data for each click. Click away :
var look=new Array(); look[0]=”Nallavan, vallavan, naalum therinjavan!”; look[1]=”Loving, caring, adjustable and considerate towards me… and my brother who’ll be an add-on”; look[2]=”Down to earth with a good sense of humour (I once watched Madhan Babu’s kek-kek-kek all day).”; look[3]=”Well mannered with good ‘family values’ and neraya respect for elders.”; look[4]=”No bad habits like smoking, drinking…. or blogging!”; look[5]=”Well settled with a steady income.”; look[6]=”Should be a friend and soul-mate first for me!”; look[7]=”Tall, fair, beautiful/handsome!”; look[8]=”Can almost cook paal panigaram and muttai dhosai, but top expert in boiling water.”; look[9]=”No bad habits like smoking, drinking…. or blogging!”; function lookfor(){var randno = Math.random()*10; var rand = Math.floor(randno); alert(look[rand]);} var iam = new Array(); iam[0]=”Graceful with a ‘wheatish’ complexion”; iam[1]=”Tall, fair and good looking”; iam[2]=”A good human being first, with personal integrity”; iam[3]=”Shy but very warm and friendly once I get to know people.”; iam[4]=”Outgoing and fun loving with a ‘good sense of humour'”; iam[5]=”Intelligent, ambitious and hard working”; iam[6]=”Earning ‘kai neraya sambalam'”; iam[7]=”Great affinity towards reading, movies, gardening, bikes, music, cooking, friends, orkut, youtube, dhoni… and a classmate of mine”; iam[8]=”Great affinity towards reading, movies, gardening, bikes, music, cooking, friends, orkut, youtube, dhoni… and a classmate of mine”; iam[9]=”Strong minded and independant but respect our customs and traditions”; function melook(){var randno = Math.random()*10; var rand = Math.floor(randno); alert(iam[rand]);}
I’m supposed to tell you that I am/have :
Looking for an ‘eena vaai’ who is/has :

Note: special requirements such as moving heavy stones or taming the bride’s family kaala maadu will have to be added separately to the profile.

ps : A primary school kid could write code for a button with random alert msgs. So spare me!

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17 Comments »

  1. Trust an IBM programmer to come up with spamming tools for matrimonial sites

    Comment by kaarthik — October 4, 2007 @ 6:13 PM | Reply

  2. maama IBM kku poi periya pisthu programming ellam panriye ….

    Comment by Karthik ,K.N — October 4, 2007 @ 9:28 PM | Reply

  3. @kaarthikYep. So that my friend in Norton has a new project!@knkambi, podhum. pullarikudhu. 5th class paiyan kooda edha eludhuvan

    Comment by santhosh — October 4, 2007 @ 9:51 PM | Reply

  4. True. Any profile on any site is going to look similar. But hey, that’s the great indian dream. And any guy or girl will have the same exectation of a spouse, right?

    Comment by Anonymous — October 5, 2007 @ 5:55 PM | Reply

  5. LOL. Some of the button messages look like the usual profile info but some others are just so hilarious. I cant help myself – you rock dude!

    Comment by neo — October 6, 2007 @ 1:48 AM | Reply

  6. machan, side gap lae un preference lam sollittae parthiya… [:P]

    Comment by crazyBugga — October 6, 2007 @ 9:31 PM | Reply

  7. @anonBut why then didnt my professor accept that when me and my friend had the same answers in an exam? ;)@neoYabba! Someone at atlast to talk about the messages, and not the buttons!@crazybuggavittuka vittuka!Me planning to use my blog for ponnu parthufying

    Comment by santhosh — October 6, 2007 @ 11:11 PM | Reply

  8. dats wat we normally do in a software company rite? some work and lot of browsing, mail forwards, chatting.

    Comment by pras — October 7, 2007 @ 5:29 AM | Reply

  9. and wat you have told about profiles is very true. every profile has some template for following as all want a ‘good’ person and so tell they are also a ‘good’ person.

    Comment by pras — October 7, 2007 @ 5:32 AM | Reply

  10. @pras”some work”…?bossu, any openings in ur company?

    Comment by santhosh — October 7, 2007 @ 9:18 AM | Reply

  11. Good Blog. Is Matrimonial site the right way to search the Better Read(bitter) Half.

    Comment by Narayanan — October 7, 2007 @ 6:02 PM | Reply

  12. haha! gud one!’affinity towards orkut, youtube and dhoni!’ ? :)) hilarious!

    Comment by usha — October 7, 2007 @ 6:39 PM | Reply

  13. @nanaFor the present, this is the best way in India. But i wouldn’t rule out blogs in the near future though ;)@ushaHilarious? Think of the poor guy(s)!

    Comment by santhosh — October 8, 2007 @ 6:27 AM | Reply

  14. Totally :)) :)) … I have a bro that ended up becoming too old and in despair that my folks will never get married, logged into one of those comedy tragedy sites and did a search on a gal who has to be something between Madhuri Dixt and goddess sita!!!Thank goodness me… my folks finally got him married to someone who was not a cross between those! 😛

    Comment by Curious — October 8, 2007 @ 2:34 PM | Reply

  15. dude, sorry for hijacking ur comments form… but i HAVE to ask curious…I have a bro that ended up becoming too old and in despair that my folks will never get married, logged into one of those comedy tragedy sitesso did your folks finally end up getting married or wat? cha cha… enna avasaram, parents ku munnadi kalyanam pannikanum nu!!!

    Comment by Mark IV — October 9, 2007 @ 1:09 PM | Reply

  16. @curiousYour bro became “too old” before he finally got married? Ahem ahem. So how old is his “li’l” sis? :)@markivNe nadathu maams!

    Comment by santhosh — October 11, 2007 @ 4:08 AM | Reply

  17. Hi,Well this is a nice Blog on most important facts. I am happy to read this. But I am looking more and more info. Please add some thing more. I shall link from my blogs to this blog to day itself. More than 2000 searchable profiles are there in the data base and since this is free nothing for you to lose. So act now and start to find with a suitable person to share your life.How are you? Are you looking for a free and absolutely apt matrimonial web site to register your profile for free as well as to search and find apt partner to share life. Here is matrifind matrimonial for you. Free to join, free to search and find apt person for you. Whole service is free. Logon to http://www.matrifind.com Later come and search for suitable profiles. We are going to promote this new service heavily so millions will login to the site all will see your profile free. So act now and visit the site to register now.

    Comment by blog49 — January 24, 2008 @ 2:10 PM | Reply


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