Days of our Lives!

November 15, 2007

Rrrrromba nallavan da Nee

Filed under: My Dayz — Santhosh @ 12:47 AM

What is that saying? Too much of a good thing is…? Couldn’t agree more. Especially after the way the Typically-stupid-ogling-at-opposite-girl-call-center-guy (Ambani’s Sumbani in this particular story) makes you dream of the soothing sounds of nails scratching across a blackboard.
Silly me, let me start from the beginning. My broadband’s been down, and it’s been a strange case. Every now and then I’m able to connect, but within 10-15 mins the connection goes down so drastically that no sites can be opened (pidgin, if I’d connected, still works though). Other times the connection stays down permanently and I can’t even bring up the Reliance modem client login page. When I tried to get some call center support :

~ Ambani’s Sumbani : Hello, this is XXX. Thanks for calling Reliance, how may I assist you?
First up, when I give him my id number, I also make sure to tell him I know computers. I then explain him the problem and tell him I’ve released, renewed and flushed the ipconfig, restarted the modem and my computer, the R43 WAN line is stable as is the LAN line, etc, and give him the ip address I’m currently on. Then I tell him I get 100% loss if I ping the Bangalore server and the NSLOOKUP of the Reliance modem client page is also timing out. I also tell him I’m facing this problem for the last week or so and I’ve been doing the said things for the whole week always with the said results. And once again I tell him I know how to use a computer.
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : I’m very sorry for the inconvenience caused Mr.Santhosh, I will surely assist you on this. What operating system are you using Sir?
~ Namma Hero [me] : Windows XP Professional.
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : Thank you Mr.Santhosh – Please click on the ‘start’ button on the bottom left corner of your desktop – Have you clicked on it Mr.Santhosh – Now please click on ‘Run’ – Have you clicked on it Mr.Santhosh – What are you getting on the window that’s opened – If there is some text on the input box, please select it and press “Backspace” button – Ok Mr.Santhosh, now type ‘cmd’ in the input box and press ‘Enter’ key – Now you will get a black window…..
~ Namma Hero [me] : Mister, let me tell you a little secret. If I’ve managed to tell you the ip address apart from my renewing, flushing and pinging, then that F**king means I have my command prompt open. I’ve already told you I F**king work on computers for a living, so F**king spare me the theatrics.
(Well, I didn’t really use the F word, but I came pretty close there.)
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : I’m very sorry for the inconvenience caused Mr.Santhosh, but we have a procedure that we need to follow for troubleshooting. Please type ‘i’ ‘p’ ‘c’ ‘o’ ‘n’ ‘f’ ‘i’ ‘g’ and press ‘Enter’ key. What are you getting Mr.Santhosh….. Yes Mr.Santhosh. Thank you Mr.Santhosh, now please type ‘ping (the Bangalore server ip address)’. What are you getting now Mr.Santhosh?
~ Namma Hero [me] : 100% loss
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : I’m very sorry for the inconvenience caused Mr.Santhosh, I will surely assist you on this. Now please type ‘NSLOOKUP http://www.reliancebroadband.co.in’ and press ‘Enter’. What are you getting Mr.Santhosh?
~ Namma Hero [me] : (Apart from getting to feel like my 9th std Botany Miss) I’m getting a ‘DNS request timed out’.
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : I’m very sorry for this problem Mr.Santhosh, I will surely assist you on this. Now please type ‘ipconfig/flushdns’. (Hang on, he also mentioned a ‘space’ after ipconfig) – ‘ipconfig /flushdns’ (hang on again, he also particulary mentioned that dns has to be in ‘big letters’) – ‘ipconfig /flushDNS’. Now what are you getting Mr.Santhosh?
~ Namma Hero [me] : Flushed successfully. (And the command prompt is not case-sensitive. And the space isn’t really needed. And this command just clears the Resolver cache. And I’ve done this like a hundred times.)
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : Successful? Thank you Mr.Santhosh, please try to open the Reliance page now.
~ Namma Hero [me] : The page keeps trying to load, but I know I’ll get a ‘taking too long to respond’.
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : The Reliance homepage itself is not coming up? I’m very sorry for the inconvenience caused Mr.Santhosh, I will surely assist you on this….
And so it went, as he walked me through the process of restarting a computer and toggling between OFF and ON in a modem, even as I tried to tell him that the LED for the LAN line on the modem would glow only if a computer is connected to it and how the problem could be in the external cable because the WAN line was not stable…..
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : Ok Mr.Santhosh, I’ll create a complaint ticket for you and someone from our technical department will contact you within 48 hours regarding this.
~ Namma Hero [me] : Thanks!
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : Is there anything else that I can assist you on Mr.Santhosh?
~ Namma Hero [me] : Actually, yes. It would be great if you could cut down on the politeness part, because, you know, sometimes it gets a bit frustrating for the caller when he has to hear all that for every line he talks.
~ Ambani’s Sumbani : I’m extremely sorry for the inconvenience caused Mr.Santhosh, I will surely assist you on this….
Aaargh!!!

Update :
Ambani’s 48 hours take up more than 4 days (explains his No.1 ranking?).
Lucky You can go through the entire said process if you call them again – even if you have a complaint number. Because their procedure has to be followed to make sure the problem hasn’t been resolved already (because people call them even if their problem has been resolved).
I need to recharge my mobile.

Update 2 :
The ‘technical department’ just turned out to be a one-man-army. 3 hours of me ‘working-from-home’ with him and looks like the connection is up now.

Update 3 :
Just overheard the people on the ground floor flat discussing how their Reliance Broadnet connection is down since today afternoon. Now you shouldn’t tie this with the fact that the ‘technical department’, after trying for 3 hrs on my connection, went up and ‘fixed something’ in the central router at the street corner. Ahem ahem!

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11 Comments »

  1. Enna kodumai idhu! I wonder how you were able to talk with that person for such a long time πŸ˜‰

    Comment by Aparna — November 15, 2007 @ 8:48 AM | Reply

  2. Hahaa…LOL!!Kodumai kodumai.. :PAdhu elaatha vida pavam … It sure is a pathetic situation when you have these annoying people at the other end. Idhelaam onumile boss :PTry AIRTEL :Dthey raaaaaaaaaaaaaak in aaaal bojjible ways! πŸ˜› Mokkai No.1 !! //(Well, I didn’t really use the F word, but I came pretty close there.)// πŸ˜› Hehee.. Spare the guy! Pozhachu pogatum. //I’ll create a complaint ticket for you and someone from our technical department will contact you//Idhaye dhaan elaarum solranunga…Hathway adikadi soluran! πŸ˜› I guess they are told to do this with someone who is absolutely annoying than them …:P Kidding

    Comment by Marutham — November 15, 2007 @ 3:59 PM | Reply

  3. @aparnaHad to. No choice :(@maruthamFor my mobile I use the connection with that dog which is supposed to follow me. But I’ve never chanced to speak with their support guys coz on the rare occasions that there is any network, I’ll get ‘Network Busy’ for any call!

    Comment by santhosh — November 15, 2007 @ 5:00 PM | Reply

  4. dude try hutch… or currently vodafone… sir Mr. Santosh sir, great general of the northern army and His holiness, Divine spirit of the prophet of nazarite (and so on goes the politeness)… please press the power button on your handset. dai domer… adhule daan da paesindrikken!!!!followed by the ‘ton-tooin-toooin’ annoying dog music

    Comment by Mark IV — November 15, 2007 @ 7:11 PM | Reply

  5. @markivMachi, unnala hutch customer care kittaelam pesa mudiyudha? One the rare occasions that my hutch dog does find me, I always get ‘Network Busy’, sometimes even when my mobile is switched off πŸ˜‰

    Comment by santhosh — November 16, 2007 @ 12:43 AM | Reply

  6. ha ha yea. sometimes it IS irritating at the the way they keep trying to read off that list of things they’re asked to say

    Comment by rashtam — November 16, 2007 @ 3:01 AM | Reply

  7. so it was YOU i was talking to!:)

    Comment by guna — November 16, 2007 @ 4:17 AM | Reply

  8. @rashtamAtleast they don’t play around with funny accents and names like Mark or Tom.@gunaOh! So it was YOU with that ‘pombala kural’

    Comment by santhosh — November 16, 2007 @ 8:37 PM | Reply

  9. Use Airtel. It’s much better and no troiubles till now for me

    Comment by Anonymous — November 16, 2007 @ 8:46 PM | Reply

  10. @anonDear old Airtel had asked me to wait 6 months so that they could then add me onto their waiting list

    Comment by santhosh — November 17, 2007 @ 12:59 AM | Reply

  11. Idhu lendhu ennaku enna theriyudhuna…. Chennai ku vandhu internet connection edukanam na indha kodumai laam anubhavikanam nu…It’s still much worse in Dubai… phone answer pannaravanga..Arab’s aah irupaanunga… but the time u get to make them understand ur problem..even half way thru… U’d have only one sound coming outta ur mouth… “Arghhhhhhhh” freeya vidu mamu nu phone ne vekkavendhiyadhu dhan! πŸ˜€

    Comment by Curious — November 20, 2007 @ 10:27 AM | Reply


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