Days of our Lives!

February 4, 2008

Supey’s mommy-in-law thinks he’s a duffer!

Filed under: Comedy-Keemedy,Top Draws — Santhosh @ 4:01 AM

Do what I can, I just can’t seem to pull myself away from talking about super-heroes. Part reason is because they always make such compelling reading, and part reason is because my company thinks I’m a super-hero.

Now, an open question to the fairer gender (btw, isn’t this racism too?) :
What would you say if a Superman or a Spiderman came to marry any of you? The odds are you wouldn’t place your palms over your mouth and scream before running off into Daddy dearest’s arms. You wouldn’t even give a moment’s thought about “emotional compatibility or congenial virtues” and “YES, YES, YES, YES, YES, YES….” would be your resounding answer. And I don’t blame you. All those hunky muscles and husky voice to go with the “tender and innocent with morals and confusion over saving the world” thing. Who could resist?

If I were a brother or father of the girl that a super-hero is interested in, I would be thrilled too, in fact more than either of them. The economics work out really well. For one, I wouldn’t have to pay for their honeymoon flight tickets (come to think of it, I wouldn’t need to buy any flight tickets ever again). For another, he’d be a real help around the house. I would just need to lift the phone to my machan Superman and he’d fly over with fresh coffee beans from Brazil or the latest Harry Potter book straight from Bloomsbury. Drilling holes? Just ask good ol’ Supey to do that laser thing. Watering plants? Batman should have some device handy. Mosquitoes? Spidey could do with a snack!

Nice no? But what would the girl’s mother – the Indian mother-in-law – think? “So which college did you graduate from? IIT? NIT? Were you a topper in class? What’s your CGPA? Whaaaat? You didn’t graduate? And you dropped out of high school? Narayanaa, what will our relatives think?”. “Do you have a green-card? Or a H1B visa? Whaaatttt? You work as a paper-boy(Superman) / photographer(Spidey) / don’t work at all (Batman)??? Oh, these spoilt NRI boys… Narayanaa

Things quickly move from bad to worse if you think about the female superheroes (or is it superheroines? I plead ignorance here, before one of you feminists turns this post into a Solomon Paappayya pattimandram). Now, all you guys reading this post, imagine Wonder Woman in front of you with all bended knee asking for your hand (I know, I know, it’s the guy who’s got to propose. But since we’ve come this far on suppositions, we’ll take it a bit further and make the girl beg for the boy, shall we? It’s my blog after all!). Now, 10 times out of 10, any sane guy would accept the offer.

Apart from being free from all the tears and glycerine and pestering for Kancheevaram silk sarees, there would be a lot of other advantages to having her as a spouse. Firstly, you’ll just have to play up the gender supremacy thing and drop subtle hints of how Superman gets things from Brazil and Switzerland and off she’ll go flying to get you what you want. Economics and ease of things would once again work out here. Secondly she’ll be away half the time fighting crime and injustice and making the world a better place so that you can watch the cricket match in peace at home. Also, you wouldn’t need to get your lazy backside off the couch to accompany her to the street end – who would mug her? Aah, bliss! And besides, her agility would come in handy for a lot of other things, if you know what I mean, wink-wink.

So, in all a very enticing proposition, right? Now, let’s add the Indian mother-in-law into the equation! “Can you keep vaththa kozhambu? It’s my maamanaar‘s favourite. Can you sing the Purvikalyani?”. “Tsk tsk, what are you eating young lady? You need to put on weight. How will you bear a child and besides, what would Ambujam maami think of our family if she sees you this thin”. And so before you could say CatWoman, your superwoman would start looking like Namitha and would be cheering the syrupy-sweet-marumagal-with-sindhoor on against the evil-sisterInLaw-with-designer-bindi on the TV dappa.

Seriously. Think about all the stuff that parents look for in matrimonial sites and try them in our superheroes. You’ll be shocked to see that they could blast meteors with laser beams and fly you away to dizzying heights but would be a super-duper flop when it comes to impressing mommy dear. Amen!

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14 Comments »

  1. gaaawd… catwoman draping a saree… it would sure be a sight for sore eyes when she’s off ‘doing her thing’ but the family life would be quite shattered. and moreover think about the consequences if she converted to a nice indian bride… flying plates and saucepans blasted off with laser capabilities? super-human kicks? count me out sir…oh, and don’t even get me started on the clothes… at least shopping for a saree you know the choice lies somewhere within the million shops off pondybazaar… when was the last time you saw an adult sized super human costume????!!!!

    Comment by Mark IV — February 4, 2008 @ 12:25 PM | Reply

  2. her agility would come in handy for a lot of other things, if you know what I mean, wink-wink.How cum Mr.Santhosh …epdi ellam iamgine pani eladha mudiyudhu?May b its ur personal experience …r u r expressing ur wish to have a superheroine blonde in future…?Narayanna?

    Comment by Anonymous — February 8, 2008 @ 6:09 AM | Reply

  3. ssssaapppaaaa

    Comment by crazyBugga — February 9, 2008 @ 11:40 AM | Reply

  4. machi sorry for self promo here, but i just figured why super humans are unfit for marriage since they actually stun evolution…. check this out

    Comment by Mark IV — February 11, 2008 @ 11:59 AM | Reply

  5. dude, alive?

    Comment by Anonymous — February 18, 2008 @ 4:28 PM | Reply

  6. super imagination :)no new posts…?

    Comment by PREETI — February 26, 2008 @ 5:30 PM | Reply

  7. Wow wat a cool idea. And if the superheroes actually luk like shown in movies, it wld be gr8. But I wld never be able to ask him- ‘Dude who do u think u r, superman?’

    Comment by Arpita — March 4, 2008 @ 5:01 PM | Reply

  8. @markivuh, actually the last one was Sehwag. In a superman costume. And yeah, it was pretty gross. Very disturbing, you know!@crazybuggais that a groan? or a moan?

    Comment by santhosh — March 8, 2008 @ 8:43 PM | Reply

  9. @anonbarely!@preetisaving the world is not easy business you know!@arpitaLol, yeah. But what if the guy turned out to be short, bald, dark and obese? Would you?

    Comment by santhosh — March 8, 2008 @ 8:47 PM | Reply

  10. You will have to hold her handbag and coat as she flies off to save the world. Would the male ego allow that?

    Comment by open source — March 15, 2008 @ 8:49 PM | Reply

  11. @open sourceWhose side are you on any way?

    Comment by santhosh — March 17, 2008 @ 4:08 AM | Reply

  12. that was super hilarious superman

    Comment by kumar — March 18, 2008 @ 6:58 PM | Reply

  13. @kumarsomewhere between rolling my eyes and scratching my head

    Comment by santhosh — March 21, 2008 @ 6:46 PM | Reply

  14. I love you. Srsly, you’re the best.

    Comment by Sarah — December 12, 2008 @ 10:15 PM | Reply


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